The Time Has Come…

Death. The more I say it, the more I understand it. It’s a tough pill to swallow. To the natural mind, the end of anything good summons emotions of discomfort, be it temporary disappointment or lasting pain. To the natural mind, the end of life is full of sorrow. Full of despair. No happiness here. It’s as if all that was good is now gone in an instant.

Then there are many that say at funerals that death is a celebration of life. But why do we wait until they die to celebrate their life? And how so does one celebrate their life?

God has a plan for each and every one of us. It says so in Jeremiah 4:19.

We learn this.

We teach this.

We live this truth.

So why do we get sidetracked when God’s plan involves a sudden death? It’s like we’re saying “Hey God, this isn’t what we talked about. Why are you doing this?”

A very close friend of mine passed away this week, killed in a car accident by a drunk driver. It would be easy for me to get angry. It would be easy for me to be hurt. It would be easy for me to shut the world out and curse the circumstances of it all.

But I refuse to do it.

I refuse to see only the natural pain for what it stands for. I refuse to see a life full of compassion and committment to ministry and his family ended by a seflish and irresponsible act.

But, you see, my friend went to see my dad. Our dad. I will not stand here and question God about something that I long to experience myself. Now, I’m not saying that I want to die this very second. Nor am I saying that people who mourn are idiots for doing so. I do believe that there is a very real sense of compassion and reverence in mourning. We wouldn’t be compassionate humans if we didn’t know how to mourn. I do, however, think that a part of mourning requires a sense of conviction. Conviction in the sense that we realize how much we need to cherish our loved ones and honor the memories, whether we do it when they are alive or dead.

My friend and I went way back, as early as our childhood years. We shared countless sleepovers together, shared bikes with each other, checked out girls in high school and even joined the Coast Guard together. He truly was a brother in more ways than any family would expect.

I thanked God everyday for him, as I do with everyone in my life. I make sure I made mention of his name whenever I went before God in prayer.

 That’s why even as he is dead in the flesh now, I don’t feel a sense of worry at all. My heart still drops at the thought of him not here anymore, and I forget how many times I’ve driven around the island this weekend thinking about it. But God has reminded me so many times how much He is with me through this. He’s reminded me that my friends and family are, without a doubt, the best people I know. He has laid on my heart revelation after revelation of my own life through my friend’s death. He’s comforted me through the tears, and granted me a peace I wasn’t even expecting at all.

I could get angry. I could get angry at the drunk driver. I could get angry atthe drunk driver’s parents for not instilling in him a discipline against it. I could get angry at the bar or house where he got his drinks from. I could get angry at the stoplights that turned the light red at that intersection. I could get angry.

But I won’t.

I choose to forgive. Even as I sit here thinking of my friend, I choose to forgive. To forgive the driver. To forgive it all.

When Jesus died on the cross for me, he forgave me for the wrong I would have caused him 2000 years later. He knew every single thing I was gonna do wrong when He dragged that cross up to Calvary, and He still gave His life for me. I choose to forgive because God chose to forgive me. I may not have killed anyone physically, but I’ve sent my God to the guillotine with the things I have done, and will do, because of my humanly mistakes. But I am reminded that I’ve been forgiven. Forgiven fully.

Tomorrow is a new day. It’s easy to praise God when all is well, but your faith is confirmed truly when you can give up your worship and praise to God when life is going downhill. But life will continue, and my God will still be the amazing God that He is to me. In a sense, He’s more real to me than before. I know my friend is gone, and maybe down the road it will sink in more. But for now, I choose to honor him by forgiving another.

And that is how death becomes life.

~ by phmotu on May 19, 2009.